Fears
"They say on the other side of your greatest fears is your greatest life" - Unknown
Good Afternoon. Welcome to my first Sunday newsletter of 2024! With travel making the days blur together, I was eager to connect and share updates with you all.
They say everyone has a fear—whether it's public speaking, heights, swimming, or something else entirely. But where do these fears come from? Why might some of us be unafraid of heights but terrified of swimming? And most importantly, how can we overcome these fears?
I wrote about fear in a blog post back in 2011 when I was afraid of public speaking. Despite this fear, I started speaking more and more as opportunities came my way.
In my book Embracing The Calm In The Chaos in Chapter 10 called Stay Current on page 93, I wrote about this experience, “My focus was on reinventing the wheel by building out new initiatives in the tech space that could reach further into our community and also make a difference through bringing awareness to a number of different causes. So, when mastering the social media and digital spaces became a new means of profitability in the fashion industry, I was right there at the forefront. For this reason, in 2011, I was asked to participate in Fashion 140 at Lincoln Center’s Alice Tully Hall—a one-day conference centered on social media and fashion that highlighted more than sixty presenters. I wasn’t the most self-assured public speaker on the planet at that time, but you can’t allow the chaos in your mind to impede your evolution. As an entrepreneur, you have to be willing to challenge yourself and do things that are outside your comfort zone. Also, new entrepreneurs learn the hard way that, for better and worse, they are often the face of their brand. So, learning how to communicate effectively and to be comfortable in front of an audience or on camera becomes something of a requirement, especially now that the camera is ubiquitous, thanks to social media.”
Back then, I was terrified of public speaking, but through continuous practice and repetition, I overcame that fear. I truly believe that with persistence and effort, we can conquer any fear. Do you agree?
Last week, I escaped the hustle and bustle of my New York City life to a place I can't believe I'd never been to before. I'll share more details soon, as I've received many DMs and emails asking about it.
In this newsletter, I want to focus on stepping out of my comfort zone. I did many things I normally fear, especially heights, and discovered the beauty once I reached the top or climbed over a mountain. This isn't something I face in my everyday city life, so I can't overcome it through practice and repetition like I did with public speaking. Can I say I'm fully over my fear of heights? Probably not, but after doing these actions of climbing or riding on the side of mountains, I can say I'm closer to conquering it. I only wish I could be here another few weeks to really do the repetition that is needed to overcome it more.
This brings me to my book, Embracing The Calm In the Chaos, where I share many of fearful business moments, that feel like climbing up a mountain and more. In it, I explore how you can achieve what you set out to do in entrepreneurship. Without trial, failure, and fear, you won't see the greatness on the other side.
In Chapter 2, called Unstoppable, on Page 21, I reference working in a company and asking for things for yourself or taking risks for yourself, you might fear doing what I did. But if you don't take this risk, you will never know. “When I returned to New York, I went back to my job at Izod and asked the vice president, Helen Katz, if I could speak with her. I said, “You know, I’m making my own clothes by night and selling them, and I would love to work here four days a week, so I can focus on my business on the fifth day.” It was a courageous move that could have been received very badly, but Helen was wonderful, and she knew how committed I was. She said, “Let me think about that.” The next day, she called me into her office and told me that she’d spoken with a bunch of people about my request. “We will offer you Fridays off at the same salary.” Holy shit! I couldn’t believe that she was going to effectively give me a raise, and I was so thankful. You should never be ashamed or fearful of asking for what you think is right and fair for yourself.”
On page 23, I note the importance of multitasking when you venture on your own even if you FEAR it. “Venturing out on your own is scary, but working with different brands and exploring other markets first will help allay your fear and empower you to be unstoppable.”
In Chapter 7, called Live The Dream, on Page 71, I share my first step in doing my first solo Fashion show which took place in Los Angeles. “I’d never done anything on this scale before, but I didn’t let that stop me. You can’t allow fear of the unknown to get in your way; otherwise, it will stunt your progress. I’ll never forget the thrill of the lights coming up, the music blaring, and the models bursting onto the stage, as I peered through the curtain at the thousand attendees…”
In Chapter 9, called Be The Boss, on Page 87, I interviewed my friend Christina Rice, chief experience officer at OMNoire. Before she started OMNoire she had a PR firm and I had hired her company for several of my NYFW shows as the front-of-house team. She noted on being a boss, “When you’re at the helm, you have to remember that the people who work for you are watching what you do. You have to ask yourself what feels right in any given moment and try not to let fear, insecurity, or anxiety get in the way. And leave emotions out of your decision making, no matter how agonizing it may be.”
I could keep sharing more from my book because, as you can see, starting something new requires belief in oneself and facing fears of the unknown. However, you'll have to listen to the audio or get the book if you haven't already. 😉 But, I promise to share more as I always do in these newsletters. As I wrote in my blog post in 2011, “I am here to educate you on my journey and I truly am grateful to all of you. I could write a novel but I thought I would recap with a fun video and pictures instead. Enjoy and if you have a fear make sure to challenge it as life is short and we must live life and embrace all that comes our way.” I looked back at this entry and two things I noticed I had told my readers I could write a novel and I did write a memoir/business book and I used the word EMBRACE as well. Foreshadowing indeed!
SHOUTOUTS:
My husband for holding my hand while climbing mountains and from this previous blog post I wrote, “Thank you DJ Blue Steel for dealing with me during preparation for the speech. Your advice was amazing. You were right.” Having a support system is very helpful on your path.
Also, shout out to
who as I was writing this newsletter wrote me and said, “Why don’t you write about it for your next newsletter.” We are in sync ; )BOOK:
I am trying to read 1/2 of Lisa Barr’s book The Goddess of Warsaw when I am not climbing mountains. I have a pile of books and trying hard to get to them.
QUOTE:
"To escape fear, you have to go through it, not around it." - unknown
BUSINESS BANTER:
In my last newsletter, Summer School is in session & mug shots are hot 😂 I shared insight on crowdfunding from
. We discussed various methods for collecting payments from customers, such as Venmo, PayPal, ACH, Stripe, and more. I appreciate his response on this topic below,“Twenty years ago, the unequivocal answer to how to reach people was email. Forty years ago it was by telephone--talking to someone. Now, I am frustrated by the plethora of options that make it harder not easier to reach someone. Sending and receiving money is the same--too many options. Every method requires a bit of investment in setup and account maintenance. It is a pain. Years ago, I got some great advice that I still believe but also recognize has never been harder to follow: "Make it easy for people to give you money." It may be impossible to set up every option, but it is wise to give customers and clients as many options as possible.”
INTERVIEWS:
I was interviewed by
from StartUp Fashion here.—check it out if you missed it! I love what Nicole is doing, as it aligns perfectly with my mission to inspire you on your journey.
XO,
STACY IGEL