The Collab Diaries: Wins, Warnings & What I’ve Learned

Lessons from the Collab Front Lines

For some reason, “All the Single Ladies” keeps playing on repeat in my head. Maybe it’s the line “put your hands up,” because right now, I want to say: to all my collaborators—past, present, and future—raise your hands up.

Something got me fired up, and I had to get this out to you today. Substack deadlines feel like book deadlines to me—when the moment strikes, I have to share it with you.

Lately, so many of you have been asking about collaborations: How do they really work? Are they always smooth? How long does it take? What if someone copies your idea? The questions keep coming—and I get it.

I go deep into this in my book, Embracing the Calm in the Chaos (and hey, it’s Prime Day, so if you haven’t grabbed it yet, now’s the time). The subtitle says it all: How to Find Success in Business and Life Through Perseverance, Connection, and Collaboration.

In particular, Chapter 12—Collaborate with Others—dives into the real truths behind partnerships, from magical moments to messy misfires. And honestly? The whole book is full of these raw, behind-the-scenes lessons.

I was vulnerable writing it, and I’m going to be vulnerable here too—because not everything is red carpets and roses. And you deserve to hear all of it.

So, I wrote this tweet—yes, I’m still on Twitter (or X… are we calling it X now?). You can find me there at @stacyigel. I posted two tweets this week—sometimes I use X to capture a quick thought or feeling in the moment.

1st) 07/08/25 “Common in collaborations. They come to you. You set the meetings. You send the plans on how it will all work out. Then you wait weeks for the contracts. Then you negotiate the contracts. Then you work hard to make the collab a success. Patience is a virtue.” Stacy Igel

2nd) 07/09/25 “They called to collaborate because they saw what you built, then their teams copied what you built, and they are a billion-dollar company! How do you compete ?!” Stacy Igel

Guess which one had the juice. The one that got people talking—the one I’m breaking down in this newsletter today? Yep, Tweet #2.

Why? Because for every 99% of incredible collaborations that do work out, there’s that 1% that goes sideways. Sometimes, someone copies you. Sometimes, you get completely blindsided. And it stings—no matter how seasoned you are as an entrepreneur.

This applies to anyone building something, whether you're running your own company or working inside one as an intrapreneur. You put in the hours, pull your team in, create the PDFs, build the decks, design the storyboards… and then it falls apart or someone pulls the rug out from under you. It just sucks.

When I wrote tweet #2 and posted about it in my notes here on substack I got a few responses that I wanted to share.

One of my dear friends and fellow entrepreneurs, Rachel Wilkins, said it best:
“I’m sorry you’re going through this, love. Really feeling it too after a recent, frustrating experience of my own. But here’s what I’m reminding myself: We’re the golden geese. They might take the ideas, but they can’t replicate the source. They’ll never execute with our vision, our spirit, or our fire. Love you.” When I read this from Rachel, I responded, “I’m sorry you’re going through this too. I talk about this a lot in #EmbracingTheCalmInTheChaos, and while it definitely stings at first, I’ve learned there’s always a bigger light at the end of the road. You’re absolutely right—they can never replicate the vision, the spirit, or the fire.” And this is the TRUTH. I want you all to know that sometimes we get hit down to make a bigger collaboration or impact later on. I always quote Steve Jobs famous quote on this, where he says, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward." Which brings me to amazing

Devin Thorpe

who I never thought back then we would be on a platform where we can connect like this. Devin covered me and my brand BOY MEETS GIRL® years ago in Forbes, and I love our connection here. So I askedb him to shed some light on this topic, and he wrote, “Collaboration always creates challenges. When it goes well, the challenges are dwarfed by the benefits. But, you’re right—that isn’t how it always works. Small businesses have no real recourse when a big company “collaborates” and then steals your idea and scales it, leaving you out. My experience is that most projects require founder energy. Founders who sell their companies for huge amounts to large corporations and then buy them back for ten cents on the dollar years later are remarkably common. Chipotle is the biggest example I can think of, but by no means the only one. Our passion is sometimes the only “moat” we have to protect us.”

So then I had to look into the Chiplotle story, which you can read about here. Maybe I will do a Substack live with

Devin Thorpe

to dive more into this too!

So now the big question: What happened to you, Stacy?
Here it is—without naming names. As I share in my book, I don’t believe in shaming others, even when they’ve wronged me. But I do believe in sharing the story.

So, Company X reached out to me for a collaboration. They’re a billion-dollar brand. And as I write this, I’m realizing this kind of situation has happened to me several times now—each in its own way. But today, I’m sharing this story.

They saw me in the press. They saw my latest collaboration featured in WWD. They saw the brand I’ve built over the past 20+ years. And they wanted in. They were eager to collaborate and be part of my roster. But in this case, I had one condition: if they wanted me to do a clothing collab, I asked that we expand it to include another category they also produce.

They came back and said they could only move forward on the clothing side. So I had to walk away—something that’s never easy for me.
And then… guess what?

The idea I had pitched to them now lives on in the category I asked to be part of.
It stings.

In my book, I talk about being a young designer and seeing my work copied by a major fashion house, ending up in their stores. I was just starting out. I didn’t have the resources to fight back. And now, 24+ years later, while this is a different situation—not my exact product, but my idea being used—it still hits hard. It still feels helpless at times. I’m not in a place where I want to go after a billion-dollar company.

But here’s the twist.

Just a few weeks after I said no to Company X, a call came in. It was an opportunity to do exactly what I had originally pitched—this time with a partner who truly sees the vision. As I mentioned in Tweet #1, I’m now working on contracts for that new project.

As my friends Rachel and Devin both reminded me: your spirit, your fire, and your unique perspective are what fuel a real collaboration. That’s the difference. You’re not AI. You’re not a robot. You’re a human who works your ass off and creates with heart and soul. And when that energy aligns with the right partner? The result is always more powerful than whatever was taken from you.

So, as I always say: keep moving, keep believing, and keep persevering.

07.10.25

Today, I went back to teach at Barnard/Columbia University in NYC. I shared the journey of building a brand from the ground up, including many of the incredible collaborations I’ve had the honor of launching throughout my career. I'm so grateful to walk this winding road and pass on what I’ve learned.

One of my favorite moments? Hearing directly from my students. I asked them all kinds of questions about what brands resonate with them right now. They were excited about my collaborations with Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake (yes!), but when I brought up a few 50-year-old heritage brands… crickets. Some had never even heard of them.

But—phew—I’m happy to report that most of the class knew me and my brand!

I also asked about the wild Labubu trend, and guess what? Not a single one of them was into it.
Are you? Let me know below!

Remember to always THINK. SAY. DO. (This has kept me moving in hard times.)

some past posts you might have missed below:

And as promised, a shoutout to some new Substacks shared with me —go check them out and show them some love!

Emilee Russell

,

Christine Morrison

,

Stacy London

(She also wrote an endorsement on the back of my book, thank you, Stacy).

Simone Oliver

(long-time friend and editor) ,

Melanie Underwood

,

Jerine Nicole

,

Brooke Berman

(long-time friend and director),

Elijah Shved, Ed.S.